Wednesday, March 4, 2009

i like long walks on the beach?

i was at the hopetoun hotel on the corner of bourke and foveaux in surry hills, for a show. i was standing by the pool table (equidistance between toilets and balcony for smoking, but far enough away that you can't smell the toilets, and also quite easy to shortcut to bar but not caught in the squash of the mid section. also easy to stand on stairs if required for those vertically challenged), when between bands me and a couple of new friends (literally that night) got to talking about some important things.

my new friend who was a girl was talking about her criteria for potential dates. they were very specific... 1) must be scottish 2) must work with their hands- preferably furniture maker 3) look a little bit like a terrorist 4) have been in a medium-sized band, but isn't anymore. simon neil from biffy clyro was her template.

my new friend who was a boy retorted with his own set of rules for potential dates (eventhough he was newly retired from dating, after leaving a date the week before by using the excuse "i have to meet my friend who is helping me with the financial side of my new business plan").... 1) must have heard of expo '88 2) must have a favourite smurf 3) must own a cassingle.


Anonymous said...

My ideal man is dark-skinned [perhaps from Africa], but has a Scottish accent, speaks French fluently, has 'David Bowie eyes' [one blue and probably one brown] is funny and widely read, toned but not a beef cake and probably has perfect teeth and a dimple when he smiles.

He is of course breath-takingly handsome, creatively talented, smart but not arrogant. He has good manners and is not a playa.

Anonymous said...